Ordered to Grow Beards

Today, Al Qaeda-linked Islamist authorities in southern Somalia have ordered men to grow beards and shave off mustaches, officials and witnesses confirmed. In order to ensure the complete implementation of the Islamic sharia law in the region, Al Qaeda called upon all men to grow their beard and shave their flavor savors.

Those who ignore this "call to grow," will be punished accordingly. This might seem like an extreme law to implement, but if you have visited Williamsburg, Bushwick, Greenpoint, Lower East Side, Webster Hall, Bowery Ballroom.... beards & facial fuzz are everywhere... slowly taking over the faces of our loved ones.

We're not complaining & we cannot imagine how many more beards and 'staches we'd see if there was an actual ordinance to not shave.