Sunday, October 25, 2009

Best Beards For Halloween: LAST MINUTE

Ok beardos, so you're running out of time. Obv. It's like the week before Halloween-what the hell are you going to be? The thrift stores are picked and your Grandma knows you're thinking of raiding her closet and just going out partying in her housecoat and some fuzzy bunny slippers. Save yourself and your grandmother the embarrassment and go as:

Zach Galifianakis

(note: Build-A-Beard Enterprises, Inc., LLC, cannot condone FAKING THE GALIFIANAKIS BEARD. EVER. But if you're a lazy slob, and you are-this works.)

A member of Adam & The Ants...

...or what the fuck ever that guy is

And what the hell is

Ok, yeah, forget it, dude-you waited too long. We're gonna have to go simple on this one. So, for Halloween, dude? Just wear what you wear when you go out to pick up chicks:

Play on, bearded playa, and have a happy Halloween. By yourself. Drinking quarter waters. That's how you do.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Moby's Porcelain Facial Fail

So I am enjoying the recent segment of Motherboard, when I noticed that upon interviewing Moby that his beard is salt & peppered to the max. The baldness factor also does not bode well.

Didn't we already blog about beards and baldness? #FAIL

Check out Moby's sporadic greyness here: MOBYBEARD

BREAKING: Phoenix's Beard Smells Funny

Much like the Phoenix is a mythical, sacred firebird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends), Joaquin Phoenix is following in ancient Greek's footsteps with his new... burning beard.

Thanks to the lovely @squaregirl for flagging this now immortal facial hair.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


A few Fridays ago I played find the best beard of the night.

This is the winner - his name is Jeb - check out that charcoal action.

Major League Beard Winners

While watching The Phillies come back late last night against The L.A. Dodgers for a 3-1 series lead, I couldn't help, but notice that when the Dodgers put in Hong-Chih Kuo as their relief pitcher - The Phillies wasted no time during the next inning. Philly saw the smooth, baby-faced L.A. pitcher and raised it.... via Chan Ho Park and his sweet beard!

Just one, of numerous reasons, why Philly rules.



Other hairs of interest:

Jayson Werth

Scott Eyre

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Beard Liberation Front

Via Wikipedia:

The Beard Liberation Front (BLF) is a British interest group, which campaigns in support of beards and opposes discrimination against those who wear them. It was founded in 1995 by socialist historian Kieth Flett who continues to organise and represent the organisation. Apart from its numerous campaigns in support of beards and against discrimination in the workplace and against those who wear beards as part of their religion, it currently hosts the annual Beard of the Year award.

More: HERE.

Beard Ball

NYC's infamous Bowie Ball is fast approaching, but figured it was worth taking a stroll down memory lane to highlight the best beard of the night from 2008.

It's going to be a hard one to beat in '09 due to the age and grey growth.

Drum roll.....

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Beards In Heaven

I am in love with the band Bear In Heaven, and I have hoped against hope that this band, with their drone-inflected Manchester sound (dronechester? WRITE THIS DOWN. DRONECHESTER. B-A-B CAME UP WITH IT!), would warrant a post here.

Well, bless my biscuits:

Cut, print, beard it-this is indeed a BAND OF BEARDS!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Shall. We. Play. A. Game?

It's Friday, it's Friday, it's the end of the week it's the last day, and so Build-A-Beard, always ones to appreciate fine facial hair, is passing the time at HQ by playing the fun new party game...

Andrew Weatherall or Hitler?

Duh-that's Andrew Weatherall, one of the most brilliant electronic music producers ever!

Despite the resemblance to my grandfather, that is definitely Hitler.

Fuck, Nazi paraphernalia...military garb...shit, either that's Weatherall at a post-punk DJ night or...nope, Hitler again.

NO FACIAL HAIR. That is DEFINITELY Bret Easton Ellis. Shit, wait, that's Weatherall? NOT FAIR!

Definitely Hitler in his underground bunker.

Shit, that's Weatherall?

Dammit, is it happy hour yet? It is. Good.

Best Beards For Halloween, Part 3

Jesus Christ, that's a nice beard-o costume

For those who don't know, this is the guy Mariah Carey wrote the song "Hero" about.

Bad Ass Beards Prone To Violence

If God Don't Like Ugly...

This guy is f$cked.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Best Beards for Halloween, Part 2

Even little kids are into it

That's right, for score and like fifteen or twenty years ago, ABRO-ham Lincoln sailed forth from, like, Jersey City to free all the awesomeness and let the beards run wild, or something. We celebrate him on Halloween, and you can, too.

Most Overlooked (But Relevant) Beard

360 degrees of monster hair.

Beardconnassaince: Dan & The Deacons [REPORT]

Our trepid reporter (@drzachary) could not attend Dan & The Deacons. However, his lovely field agents, Responsible Krista, Granny Quarters and Jiminy Glick (possibly not their real names) descended upon the concertgoers like a plague of ravenous locusts (the nice kind of locusts that act all flirty and then ask you to preen with your face-mane.)

Beards were photographed, insightful questions were posed and the following data was gathered:

Name: George Balthasar
Favorite Bands: Radiohead, Guys in Jeans with Haircuts, Jim Snood

Name: Brett Sandusky
Favorite Bands: Radiohead, Ponce Piedmont, Retweet

Name: Sparks
Favorite Bands: Radiohead, Less Than Three Dudes, Sportsmanship

Name: Carl Black
Favorite Bands: Radiohead, Auto & The Tunes, Steak

and the winner of Best Beard of the Evening ...

Name: Johnny le Rocque
Favorite Bands: Radiohead

Freedom (Not Just Another Word)

Our new friend @danpatterson brought to Build-A-Beard's attention that there is a sweet video by @joshuajwolff entitled 'Mustache of Freedom' floating around the Internet.

Check the vid out HERE & take a moment to absorb the mustaching awesomeness.

As such, we hereby dedicate this post to Joshua J. Wolff and his rad production - far beyond its years.

Beard God vs. Mortal

Jim Morrison
Unknown fact: It took Morrison just two days to grow this magnificent beard

Joaquin Phoenix
(Known fact: You're fat & hairy - and still - we do not care)

Lesson I: If You Fake It, We Won't Respect You

Since we started highlighting all the fake beard growers out there (and our disgust for you), we've received emails about different ways to rock one w/o growing it.

ATTENTION: this blog is all about the real facial hairs.

That said, it seems that should you wish to fake a 'stache - your best options would be to visit - THIS.

But trust us, we're not sure who is lying to you, but disguising your baby face only makes you look like a dumb asshole (see below).

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

No Means Yes.

Some at Build-A-Beard have a weakness for *a few* men with beards ('few' = just one = Adrien Brody). The Oscar winning actor is starring in the upcoming Predator movie and we cannot wait to check out the flick (although others seem less enthused).

One request Adrien: keep your facial hair flowing. You look older, wiser, confident, and totally dreamy. The type of guy where a lady might say 'no,' but means 'yes.'

Regina #FAIL

Garden Gnome

Recently, Build-A-Beard received this picture from a few friends scouting out beards in the Northern Liberties section of Philadelphia.

Be on the look-out for this magical man (and yes, it's real).

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

You're Doing It Wrong

Philly! Take a few minutes to embrace you blue-collar roots, scratch your beer bellies, and resist the urge to shave! What's up with faking the 'stache these days?


Monday, October 5, 2009

If you can't beat em, wear a bowtie

The Momentum Of Failure claims it's totally acceptable to fake a beard (or mustache) if you can't (or don't want to) grow one.

We at Build-A-Beard have one word for that:


I mean, when Nick Cave wanted to man up, he did it for real.


when Nick Cave decided he was tired of not being awesome**?

He didn't go half-assed.

Now even his Glamour Shots will fucking kill you.

Yeah. Grow a real beard or shut up, that's what Tim Harrington says.

**note: we here at Build-A-Beard do, in fact, acknowledge that Nick Cave has never been anything less than awesome. His new molester 'stache just makes him moreso.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Best Beards for Halloween, Part 1

Say you're one of the few, the unfortunate, the beardless, and you're wondering how you can masquerade as though your chin isn't cold for Halloween. Build-a-Beard is here to help!

First suggestion: Beardo the Caveman

oh shit sorry that's just some dude I saw at Zabloski's.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Lady Perspective

Gents - if you're gonna rock the untamed beard... leave your cap at home. This look screams "I am growing out my facial hair because I cannot grow anything else on top."

Point II: If your beard is looking this unkempt... my mind wanders to what other areas - specifically Southern ones - are equally bushy. (*pukes in mouth*)

Point III: If you're sporting a beard & bald - don't leave your parent's house. There is a room called a "basement" and some Internets thingies - both were designed specifically for you.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Celebrating The Superiority of Man's Ability To Engineer Hairy Faces (At Your Leisure)

"Beards over Babies"

Best Beard Trimmers

Attention: We are looking for the best beard trimmers. Mostly because we want to go to town on this outstanding specimen below. Just a little off the top so it accentuates his belly and pleated white pants.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

BAB(TM) Top Chef Endorsement

A number of readers have written in to ask who Build-a-Beard officially endorses for this season of Top Chef. The answer should be clear to Build-a-Beard scholars and acolytes alike, noted chef/restauranteur/porksmith Kevin Gillespie's Beard:

(Note: we are not endorsing Kevin Gillespie. We only want his beard to win.)

Beardconnaissance: Dan & The Deacons

ASSIGNMENT: Dan & The Deacons
VENUE: Eyedrum, Atlanta, GA
DATE: Fri. Oct. 2, 2009

Our intrepid -- more trepid, honestly -- Southeastern correspondent has been tasked with the following action items:

1. Beards are to be documented.
2. See #1.

The Drudge Siren means you should STAY TUNED!!